Canada Beware

As far back as November of 2000 I had already started to hear rumblings of an imminent U.S. invasion of Canada. You see, my wife was in the Comparative Literature program -- quite possibly as lefty a program as you can get in graduate school -- and, after the election, a fair number of her classmates talked about the northern defection.

Fast forward four years and those friends threatened again to invade Canada. So did my mom and step-dad.

Fast forward about one more year and now there are, ahem, indications that Hillary Clinton will run in 2008 -- and might even win! So what do I hear next?

My dad and step-mom say they'll move to Canada if that happens.


I see this future where Canada has 99% voter turnout and daily riots and the United States has 1% voter turnout and the most productive congress in its entire history.

Or maybe it will be like the great elk, every four or eight years vast herds of democrats or republicans migrate north while the other side migrates south. It would create these weird, four year cycles for Starbucks and NASCAR -- oddly enough though, the SUV manufacturers wouldn't be affected at all...