And the humidity is lower too

Ohmigod!! The VAN!!

Thank God for Google Streetview.  I was considering this apartment.

Because a van with no windows doesn't say "serial killer" enough

 

And the interior view:

Some cargo needs to be locked off from the driver.

Lessons Learned

One advantage of writing some of these low-budget films is that you learn your lessons the hard way.

Blockbuster online has some reviews posted, and here's an example:

Awful This movie was stated to be a family kids movie. This had my 6 yr old girl crying all night. Not a movie for kids if they love animals. The quality is horrible.

Who'da thought that killing the dog 20 minutes into the movie might have some undesirable side effects?!

Some reviewers actually do like the emotionality of it -- but clearly several were not expecting the DVD with the cute, happy dog on the cover to turn into a FESTIVAL OF DEATH.

And, it really is something of a festival of death. We start in a cemetery, dog dies around 20 minutes in, then ghost dog and ghost dad *both* leave hero kid at end of movie.

My subsequent kids/family films are a tad less morbid.

Career indecision

While there are many practical disadvantages to starting screenwriting at 38, one advantage is that you feel like you're in your 20s at 45.

For free advertising on the internet, cast stars with a high nerd-Q-factor

My last four movies got almost no press.  But this one isn't even on IMDb yet and we got:

DreadCentral

geektyrant

Horrorbid

HorrorAsylum

BloodyDisgusting

I'll finally get some street cred -

- amongst all my Buffy/Angel fan friends.  Charisma Carpenter is starring in my movie!

Deadly Sibling Rivalry

Somehow the blurb ended up on-line for the next movie going into production:

After a wife and mother falls into a coma following a car accident, her troubled twin sister steals her identity to start over with a new life. Problems arise, however, when the comatose woman's daughter gets suspicious.

Evil twins!  How can that not be awesome?

This will shoot in February, but I couldn't get the timing right so I won't be out there at the beginning. I might be out there again first week of March and catch the tail-end of the shoot, though.

This is one I'm the sole writer on.  However the base concept came out of a kind of machine.  The bosses made up a list of different Lifetime-y concepts (each basically described in about as much depth as the above blurb), then ran them through a sort of internet focus group to see which ones were most appealing to their demographic.  Apparently that makes network executives far more comfortable when they say, "go with that one".

I'll likely be starting in on another one of these Lifetime-style films before too long -- but this time an actual remake of a Lifetime movie from the 90s!  I was a tad surprised too.  TV movies get remade?!

The producers are also trying to get involved with SyFy this year and make a movie for them.  They are desperate to do this because they are all males.

It is hard, however, to get into business with SyFy.  I have a theory that this is because most producers, writers, and directors are male, and if they're going to do a low-budget TV movie, they all want to do something like giant piranha tarantulas.

I know I do.

My home away from home?

Park Motel on Google

Adding the text below if you can't read the picture:

JohnPic ‎ - Sep 23, 2009
Hell hole This place is so bad and over-run by whores/day laborers, it's used in tv/movies as a go-to "Crack hotel" Filthy sheets, owners mill around the parking lot at night/early AM preventing any chance at sleep. Dog-faced lady tends weeds on back wall, and screeches like a banshee the minute it's "Chekooooo" time,. Better off sleeping in your car-safer, less chance of scabies. The proverbial "Turd in the Punchbowl" in an otherwise nice neighborhood. Days Inn 2 doors up is a much safer alternative. You've been warned.

Dmitry ‎ - Mar 18, 2008
The worst motel I've ever been... The worst motel I've ever been... If you like japaneese horror films you might like this place otherwise I would strongly recommend to find other place to stay. =)

Cop Dog Inception Trailer

Hafta say this is rather cool:

Behind the scenes of Behind the Scenes of Zombie Hamlet

I don't even know how many levels meta we are in this one.  Here's a clip from a Baton Rouge newscast that came out to visit the set during the early days of the shoot:

On Location Photos

I'm uploading some photos from location to a Picasa album:

Click on the photo to go to the album.

They're also shooting the next two Twilight movies down here so we had a bunch of teenaged girls out at the edge of the property screaming.

Go Team Zombie!

Giving the fans what they want

Somebody on the Lifetime website pointed out one of the key failings in Next Stop Murder:

I saw the premiere movie tonight of Next Stop Murder and was not pleased with it. I didn't expect it to be good anyway. There was one scene where a woman gets choked with a chain. A chain? I mean my god you people aren't even trying. I don't know why in god's name you don't air thriller movies with scenes of plastic bag suffocation and pillow smothering. This deeply disturbs me because I watch both networks. I'm never gonna be content with your new moves am I? Sorry for being so blunt, but it does upset me. Sorry.
razael 1:22am Mon Sep 20

And razael takes this stuff seriously!  Here are some of razael's later posts over the next couple weeks:

I would like to apologize if I have offended anyone about my movies comment last night. I just get so worked up sometimes when I wait for a movie on lifetime & LMN and they don't have certain scenes in the movie that I am looking for like say a pillow smother scene for example. But I'm sorry for my angry comments. I read a post that was directed towards my comment from last night and it got me thinking & I felt guilt about it. I'm sorry and I really enjoy lifetime & lmn movies. I really do. I just hope they air more movies with scenes that I am looking for. Anyway, thank you lifetime for accepting my posts and comments. Thank you all. I'm sorry. razael 6:48pm Mon Sep 20

Hi Karliann just got your message. Haven't been online in awhile. Anyway, when I meant I wanted to see more thriller type movies, I meant with pillow smother scenes of a victim being smothered with a pillow. Suffocation scenes. That's what I was referring to. When a victim is smothered with a pillow by the killer in the movie. That's wall I meant. Which probably sounds a bit disturbing. It is even for me, but they rarely show suffocation scenes on lifetime & lmn movies. Mostly it's people getting shot or stabbed or whatever. You weren't being intrusive. Some people just might not get people like me who want scenes of smothering. But we all have our likes in films. I try not to judge. Anyway, see ya.
razael 6:37pm Fri Oct 1

Lifetime & LMN, can you air more thriller movies with pillow suffocation scenes. Victim being smothered with a pillow and scenes like that. I notice you rarely show movies like that. I'm looking for more thriller & mystery movies to add to my collection. Thank you.

razael 3:40pm Sat Oct 9

LIfetime & LMN, I was wondering if you would show more movies to my liking. I watch both networks quite often and with your thrillers, mystery and crime movies, it's always the same: someone getting run down by a car, someone getting shot or stabbed. I'm looking for fictional movies not ones based on true events. I want more scenes of pillow smothering and plastic bag suffocation. Can you air more movies with scenes like that? I'm talking newer movies though. Like your world premiere movies from this year. 2010. Thank you. I apologize to anyone, if my comments are disturbing or offensive. If so, I deeply regret you seeing it. I just want to see more lifetime & lmn movies to my liking is all. The ones I've seen this year just isn't what I've been looking for. Thank you lifetime & lmn.

razael 1:54am Tue Oct 12

Look for the Crazy

I'm on location for the movie now and the weather is terrific.  First day of shooting is tomorrow.

Which meant that they were casting extras a couple days ago.  They had a general casting call and 350 people showed up.  Who doesn't want to be a zombie?

I'm following the director around trying to learn lessons, and here is one of the early ones:

Various assistants trimmed down the horde to a manageable few and the director starts flipping through their photos.  They're all pretty much right for the part so he focused on their eyes and said "look for the crazy".

You don't want to deal with any more whackos on a set than you're contractually obligated to.

Indie Film

It's not officially announced yet so I don't think I can say the title, but I've done another re-write, this time on something more along the lines of an indie film.  The really fun bit is that I'll be on location near Baton Rouge for the entire shoot as a creative advisor!

It's a light comedy -- not quite as arty or quirky as true indie fare, but not bound to TV structure either so a very nice change of pace.  I'm even getting a chance to make suggestions for casting.  If we do it right I think that it's the sort of thing that has a decent shot at a limited theatrical release.

And sorry, Dan.  We're nowhere near high profile enough to get Maggie Gyllenhaal.

One thing about casting at a budget like this is that I'm of the opinion that all the characters in the script can change drastically to fit whoever we find that's best for the movie.

And it's also kind of tricky casting this.  We can't afford the sort of actor that guarantees distribution.  So what I'm looking for is actors who will legitimize the film -- a cast that when judges at film festivals or distributors look at it that they won't immediately dismiss the movie out-of-hand.  Get the external features of the film such that people will give the film a shot, then hopefully the film itself comes together well enough that people are happy they gave it a chance.

Next Stop Murder airs on Lifetime Movie Network

One of the movies I did a re-write on is going to start airing tomorrow (Sept 19th, 8PM EDT and additional showings later) on the Lifetime Movie Network:

Next Stop Murder

Which is not Lifetime, so we don't get the channel on our cable here and there's a fair number of other cable systems that won't carry it either.  LMN might stream it live from their website.

I saw a rough cut of the film and the performances turned out pretty nice and it has some nice noirish lighting (too noirish at times for the market -- France made them lighten it up).

P.S.  I did wind up getting a shared writing credit on this one.

How All Natural Farm Fresh Eggs Lowered My Cholesterol

Some of Jaru's friends have chicken-raising connections and gave us a dozen fresh eggs of the sort that are supposed to remind you of what it was like back in the day when food tasted like food.

And I have been on a bit of a scrambled eggs and bacon kick lately.  So I crack three open and they come out with yolks so yolky that they've gone past yellow to nearly orange.

They have stopped looking like eggs and started looking an awful lot like unborn chicken fetus reconstitute.  One even had that little spot of red in it.

Perhaps scrambling them would help -- but they don't quite mix with milk the same way as the free-range, organic-diet, Omega-3-mutated, manufactory eggs I prefer.  And they cook up with that intense yolky orange color too.

So, even though it's extremely unlikely that they taste significantly different, all I can think about when eating those eggs is how chicken-fetus-y they taste.  And now I'll be thinking about that when I eat ANY eggs.

Which means I won't be eating any more scrambled eggs and bacon.

This is writing?

Unlike writing a novel where I think it's key to keep putting down words to hit that 100k mark, writing a script requires a whole lot of sitting or walking around and rolling broken ideas over and over in your head until they finally shatter and the jagged pieces come back together in the right way.

It is guilt-inducing.  You are, in fact, doing nothing while doing this.  When I smoked I would go outside and stare at the tip of a cigarette while thinking and it would focus me.  This is what I miss most about smoking.

I wonder why screenplays are different from novels in this.  One reason might be that screenplays must be so focused, whereas novels have room to explore.  It might also be a practical matter.  Novels (and individual scenes in novels) take longer to write so you have more time during the process to do that thinking after you've finished your pages for the day.  In essence, you're spending the same amount of time thinking about the story, but there's more writing required for a novel so your writing doesn't get ahead of your thinking as often.

L.A. Times Botches Lost Finale Review

L.A. Times botches the review.  Spoilers at the link despite many mistakes.  My own discussion follows the break and will include spoilers -- hopefully if you're reading a news feed, it doesn't include stuff after the break.

How to get a nerd to exercise

Jaru and I got a Wii last week -- the one video game system Jaru would actually ask for ahead of me!

We also got the Wii Fit+ package which includes the balance board and such.

I've enjoyed it quite a bit since it allows me to exercise in the house in shorts then head straight for a shower.  Driving back from a gym in sweaty clothes always bugged me, plus then I'd need multiple sets of clothes so they'd be clean.

One other benefit (I think) is that when I do the jogging in place for the jogging game I run on my toes since I'm effectively jogging barefoot.  I've read that jogging in shoes causes problems since you tend to hit hard heel-first -- I'm I'm pretty sure that applies to me.  When I tried jogging last I'd develop knee issues after a few months.

What surprises me though is how few exertainment games there are.  Practically no true exercise programs that are game-focused.  I picked up Walk it Out, which allows you to walk around a little virtual island.  There's a slight game aspect in that you click on glowing stars and pellets while walking and build up the island with houses and trees and such.

I'd rate it 4 out of 5 stars since it's the only goddamn exergame out there really.  But if there were any competition I'd give it 2 stars or less.  In order to click on things you need to point the remote -- doing this while walking when you should be swinging your arms to get the full effect. 

One plus of the game is that you need to step fairly high when using the remote in pocket method of walking, and at a good pace, so I work up a solid sweat while playing.

But it's frustrating that there are so many simply obvious ways of making a fun or interesting exergame.

Jogging works remarkably well by putting a remote in pocket.  Jaru had the idea of simply laying down various virtual paths through unusual terrains.  Why not jog through the Amazon, or Paris, or Middle Earth?  That'd make jogging a little fun.

Or how about some incentive -- jogging through the amazon with a leopard chasing you.  Or maybe you're a tiger and chasing hapless guys in pith helmets through the jungle.  There's no reason your icon couldn't be an animal or monster.

Or you play as Pac-Man and gobble pellets while running away from ghosts.

You could dash off hundreds of interesting ideas in a few hours and they'd all be remarkably easy to implement -- yet there isn't a single dedicated jogging game on the Wii.

One thing though, using the Wii is making me really look forward to Natal.




I've played a couple sword games using the Wii and it's amazingly fun to swing the controller and hack something up.  The big downside has been that it doesn't track the movements of the rest of your body.  So being able to full body dodge and such will be very cool if the Natal technology works.

One upshot of all this is that there'll be all these pale, extremely wiry nerds in the future who spend 16 hours a day working out to World of Warcraft.